I heard a wonderful conversation recently which made me think about Friendship and how different people define what and who a friend is. The conversation revolved around an argument two people had had, where the one had attacked the other in a quite vicious manner and then, after insulting them, said that they could still be friends.
The second person laughed and said that, for her, there are certain things in life and in their personal relationship that she had learned: everyone places people they know into separate groups such as Work; Leisure; School; Fleeting; Family. Then there is another group called Friends, people who belong to one of the main groups and have then also been added to the Friends category for whatever reason. Those who belong to the Friends group must also belongÃƒâ€šÃ‚Â one or more of the other groups. You, she said, have made it into one group, and only one.
I would not have been quite so subtle. I’d have told her we need to be friends first in order to remain friends and that we’re a long way off from such a relationship. I would have said it in such a way that there was absolutely no doubt about what I thought of her, so that she didn’t need to think about what I meant: I would have made it crystal clear and left no doubt in her mind what I thought of her.
It made me think, though. I began to wonder how one person could put another in their place without being abusive or rude; with a simple statement of fact or opinion. The best put down, I decided, is the one which doesn’t hurt another person’s feelings, but which gives them food for thought once you’ve moved on.
Love & Kisses, Viki.