The Wonders.

Posted by Viktoria Michaelis on June 23, 2010 in Internet |

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I probably wouldn’t have believed it myself. The experience that is the Internet is something you have to live yourself, it is almost impossible to describe to another person unless they, too, have access. I can understand now why so many people seem to be glued to their small screen and almost consider the Internet to be a major part of their social life. Admittedly I wouldn’t go quite so far myself: getting out and about in the sunshine; meeting up with real people in real life; holding a conversation with someone who you can not only see but also touch; moving freely around in the community and being able to decide exactly where you want to go and when, these are things that the Internet cannot beat, or even come close to competing with.

There is the wealth of information available, even if many things need to be taken with more than just a pinch of salt at times. There is the chance to find others with similar interests. There is the exploration of foreign countries and cultures. The research possibilities and, above all, the chance to share what you have with someone else who, for many reasons, you might never ever come across, let alone know that they have found you. I can understand why some people wonder how society managed to survive without the technological resources we have at our fingertips today. The idea that an evening was once crowned by the family sitting around a piano and singing together; sitting in front of a fire and reading books; sitting together at table and enjoying a meal together without the pressures of having other plans outside of the immediate family seems wildly outlandish today. Although there is much to be said or family, for the chance to sit in peace and quiet and read, to shrug off the dirt of a hard day and just relax.

What really amazes me is the mass of technology that we now have at our beck and call, not that we need all of it but it is there all the same. A few years ago I would have been more than content to write a few words in my small diary and hide it away in a drawer somewhere that my Dad wouldn’t think of looking. I would have kept my secrets, my desires and longings to myself, or trusted them to perhaps one true friend. Now I trust my thoughts to a computer screen and publish them on the Internet for all to see, as do countless others around the world, even though I have no idea who is going to read what I write, or what their reaction is likely to be. And I must admit, were it not for Word Press I would probably still be pretty much in the dark about all the possibilities open to me. This software has opened an avenue into the world which I had never before imagined; brought possibilities which I am only now starting to appreciate and learn.

It is true that I am still very nervous about the whole thing. The idea of having someone read my most intimate thoughts makes me consider what I write quite carefully, especially since it is likely to be someone who I do not know. And, of course, the possibility that someone who I do know might read my deepest desires makes my fingers pause before typing on many occasions. I have led a relatively sheltered life so far, and this breaking out into the world through the Internet has come as something of a cry for freedom to me; a cry towards a sort of freedom I didn’t know existed and which I am still not sure I can handle. I still get nervous when looking at photographs on the Internet, thinking about all those stories of how people can trace you in a matter of moments and how computers such as the one used by google can follow your every move and keep a record of everything that you look at, everything that you skim through.

I get especially nervous when I put my innermost thoughts out into the open for all to read. What are people going to think of me? Will someone I have never met judge me simply because I enjoy looking at other women, or because my inner woman is aroused by the thought of intimate experiences with another woman? Will someone attack me over the Internet when I spell something incorrectly, or because I have a different writing style to other women of my age? To be perfectly honest, being attacked verbally over the Internet doesn’t bother me too much, because it has already happened: within a few hours of my signing up for Twitter I was subjected to two different attacks from two different people; one unable to accept my opinion and the other unable to accept me. That hasn’t happened here, on my weblog, a yet but I feel sure that it will one day. How will I react? Will my reaction be the same as that toward a real person standing in front of me, or will I be able to simply laugh it off and delete from both weblog and memory? Only time will tell but I can tell you this right now, I love it here and, even if no one ever makes a comment or reads what I have to say, I am going to keep it up.

Love & Kisses, Viki.

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