I’ve been screwing my head recently over the definition of a Lesbian. Now, I know for most people the meaning of the word Lesbian is clear cut and almost impossible to interpret in any other way than: a woman who loves other women. The World English Dictionary defines a Lesbian as a female homosexual, as do several other dictionaries I’ve consulted, so that is fairly clear. Now we play with a few other words which are often associated with Lesbian and come up with the very strange Amateur Lesbian, and this is what makes me stop and think.
What exactly is an amateur Lesbian? One who cannot do it properly and is just learning? Does that mean those of us who have accepted our sexual orientation are professional, or do we have a certificate to prove we are fully-fledged and accepted Lesbians?
Perhaps it means they are just part-time Lesbians: they leave their work sex at the office when going home at night, or perhaps it’s the other way round; leaving their sexuality at home when going to work each morning. Of course, that does make some sense: not all Lesbians are Out when it comes to the workplace or to meeting up with people outside of their private lives. But the word Amateur still jars with me. Can they not be real, professional Lesbians even when shedding their true personality for some other reason or function?
The World English Dictionary again: a person unskilled in or having only a superficial knowledge of a subject or activity or a person inexperienced or unskilled in a particular activity.
Perhaps we are all amateur Lesbians, then. I mean, all of us are constantly learning new things about our sexuality, about how we live with other people – Lesbian or not – and new skills when it comes to practicing the Art of our sexuality; in bed or otherwise.
An amateur is also, as many know, a person who has never engaged in a particular skill for material or financial gain, which would make me an amateur along with most other Lesbians. A professional Lesbian, according to this definition, is a woman who sells her sex to other women; she has moved from her amateur status and lives from her skills. In other words, a prostitute.
Not exactly the best definition I could wish for myself or for others, and I’ve never come across a prostitute who is only there for other women either: are there such people?
I first came across the term amateur Lesbian on Tumblr. Here a photograph was posted which showed, according to the comment attached underneath, amateur Lesbians playing with one another. It was a professional photograph, not one of these snapshots at a party, which suggests to me that the women involved were paid for their participation, for their services, making them professional. However, I’ve seen photographs of the same women engaging in heterosexual sex, which throws the Lesbian out the window!
Bisexual perhaps? That would fit better for those who model in the erotic or sex industry and is far more likely. Which leaves amateur out in the cold.
So, is there such a thing as an amateur – or professional for that matter – Lesbian? I don’t think so, simply because being Lesbian is a lifestyle much the same as being a mother, a father, an office worker. The word is only used, as far as such descriptions of photographs go, to over uncertainty: is the woman in this photograph really a Lesbian, or just in front of the camera? Do I – as a man or a woman – have a chance with her in real life? Let’s be honest, everyone who views such images imagines themselves on the receiving – or giving – end of the action.
However, as I said above, perhaps we are all amateur Lesbians – amateur human beings – simply because we’re all learning all the time. Life is a learning process right through to the end, and that is a good thing.
Love & Kisses, Viki.