I’ve been having strange dreams again, and I think I can get down to the cause quite easily. It’s through a distinct lack of sex.
I’m sure many of you will remember my writing, a few days ago, about not wearing my lover out, about taking a rest so that she can recoup her own energies, about not rushing in towards a burnout and the possibility of a complete loss of interest or creation of misunderstandings, problems, stress. Well, I have been true to my promise to her, and I have confined myself to cuddles and gentle nothings whispered in her ear as she falls asleep in my arms. And I have discovered something about myself at the same time, something I didn’t realize was there until it was gone.
Just a quick aside: do you think the photographer here should have used a larger format, so that this beauty fits in to the frame? Never mind, not important!
I’m no longer a newcomer to sex. Not so long ago I would still have called myself a beginner with a great deal to learn and revelled in the learning process. No I can call myself an advanced student with a great deal to learn … and revel in the learning process! Someone wrote that the learning process never ends, from the moment of our birth – or earlier – through to the moment of death, we are learning something new each and every moment.
I have learned that I can do without sex, as far as the outward me is concerned, but my subconscious has other thoughts. I have been plagued, if you can call it that, with naughty dreams. Naughty is perhaps the wrong word, it is too soft, too shallow. Some of the dreams have been more realistic than I could have thought possible, and all of them have tended towards the fulfillment of something which is obviously missing from my life.
But missing isn’t the right word either because, as with most couples, it is still there and still available, should I ask or make a point over it. My sexual inclinations are, it seems, considerably stronger than those of my lover. Not that she has gone cold or that the novelty has worn thin after so much time together, it’s just that she doesn’t have the same drive I do, and that is something I have to respect and take note of.
I don’t know how many articles I’ve come across over the last couple years about sex in relationships, about relationships dying down after the honeymoon, about the death of feeling. They all have remedies, solutions, ideas worth trying and, I am sure, people who take them very seriously and really break their heads and minds over what to do next, how to get that spark back, how to revitalize the sexual relationship. None of that is for me, though, and I’ll tell you why.
We are all different. We all have different ideals, plans, needs and desires. Our emotions, our feelings, everything about us is different and life, the life we choose to to lead, is a mixture of acceptance, compromise and determination. My sex drive is, so I have come to see, considerably higher than her sex drive. That’s fine by me. I know that I can control it if I wish to and I also know that, if the need really arises, I have alternatives, and I don’t just mean laying my own hands on or playing with toys!
But, at the same time, I am quite enjoying some of the dreams. They are, as I said, very realistic indeed and, for some reason, don’t leave me feeling frustrated through a lack of real action when I wake up. They calm my mind and put new ideas in there too. And the lack of physical activity isn’t forever, I’m used to it anyway during those times of the month when either she or I, well, you know what I mean.
And, apart from all that, I get the feeling that there will be a break from this abstinence round about midnight tonight. I get the feeling that someone close to me has been saving up for something special to herald the morning of a – for me – new decade.
Oh, and I thought the cutest ass is in the third photograph. I could dream of her any time!
Love & Kisses, Viki.