I really don’t know where some people get their ideas from, but it is good that they do otherwise the world and humanity would simply stagnate. Likewise I don’t know how some people come up with questions that they want an answer to, whether they know the answer in advance or not, but some questions get you thinking, and that is always a good thing.
So, I had a question posed on Tumblr the other day and I thought I would give a little go at answering it more fully than I did there.
How did you consciously discover masturbation?
First, let’s clear the assumptions out of the way: consciously discover.
I’m not sure that anyone consciously discovers masturbation. At some point or another they masturbate, or experiment with their bodies and discover that certain things give more pleasure than others. That doesn’t mean they are consciously aware of what they are doing. Unless, that is, they discover the delights of personally laying their own hands on after seeing or hearing about masturbation. That doesn’t necessarily mean they can put a name to it, it is merely a method of gaining enjoyment.
I’m not sure, personally, when I really discovered masturbation. I’m not even sure when I really discovered my own sexuality. I know roughly when I accepted it, but the thoughts were hovering in my mind for a long time before I got round to thinking them through and coming to a definite answer. Many of us discover our sexuality quite early in life, without being able to put it in one or another of societies restricting pigeonholes.
Photo Source: livedoor
We tend to experiment with our bodies from a very young age, just as much as we experiment with other people, in seeing how far we can go before something is forbidden. We explore our bodies and, at certain times, we learn from automatic reactions. A man, for example, experiencing his first erection following some form of – non-contact induced – stimulation from outside.
Photo Source: prettydaily
Discovering what we can achieve through masturbation can also occur at a very young age, along with the knowledge that what we are doing, what we want to do, is not necessarily an acceptable public pastime; it is a dirty little secret best kept to yourself. Masturbation is still one of those taboo subjects no one really wants to talk about although, with the aid of a certain level of enlightenment, the Internet and some very popular sex toys, matters are changing.
For some it is more than just a personal thing, it is a pastime they wish to share with others, either people, or a person, with them through mutual masturbation or through some form of contact whereby more than just imagination comes into play.
Mutual masturbation is a conscious discovery, a conscious decision which, when it is two people together, involves a great deal of trust. Mutual masturbation when it is two people separated through distance, played out by description on the telephone or over a video link is considerably safer and involves little or no real trust, merely the desire to pleasure, to please oneself.
If there is a conscious discovery then, I believe, it comes first when you can put a name to it, when you can say: this is masturbation. But most people, as far as I know, have long since discovered what it is, what it does and can do and the pleasures involved.
Love & Kisses, Viki.