How many sites are there which promise you a date tonight or the chance to meet men and women in your area right now! ? How many people, as a follow-up question, sign up for such sites, which are always free, and honestly believe that this will be their way into married, sexual or any other form of love? I guess I ought to put these two as rhetorical questions, because they are almost impossible to answer. The Internet has brought countless sites with it which prey on the lonely, promising them all sorts of heavenly gifts and happiness if they sign up and take a chance on love, or sex. Did I mention that these sites are free?
That, I suspect, is the selling point: you pay nothing to sign up and are guaranteed success. Well, yes, signing up is free, but if you are seeking success just signing up isn’t enough, you need to be contactable, you need to be able to contact other people, and this part is often very expensive indeed.
Looking for a good time, not a long time
And once you are in there, once you’ve signed away your life for a small piece of your personal dating heaven, what comes next? You need to create a profile; you need to upload a photograph; you need to give your personal contact details (logically); you need to pay. The paying is, of course, easy. Credit card, and you’re there. What most people don’t seem to be able to get the hang of is describing themselves, creating even a title which draws potential partners further into the profile, which makes them want to click on a link and look further.
If the 140 character link by Twitter is too short for many, the personal description box on dating sites is far too big. Describe yourself in seven hundred words. Right now. Describe yourself in such a manner that other people will have their interests raised, you are, after all, in a massive market and need to sell yourself far better than everyone else. There is real and desperate competition out there. The loneliness of sitting in front of a computer every evening, surfing for something to excite you, has so decimated some social skills that actually getting out and meeting people, portraying yourself in person, is a skill which has vanished. We are back to the days of arranged marriages, of selling bodies, characters, our life and love.
use me and abuse me ;)
And people simply cannot do it. Faced withe the blank Describe Yourself box, they are at a loss what to write, and that despite the fact that they must realize this moment will come, they must know that a personal description has to be written. You can’t sell something which no one can see or read about. You can’t describe your personal attributes without words. In these days of short messages and status updates, who knows how to formulate a sentence any more? Who can convince someone else, someone who is not physically there, that they are the right person for the job?
Please have brains!
How are you, as the new person on the block, going to get your personality across without a good, deep, meaningful description which cuts through all the distance, jumps out from the computer screen and yells: Here I Am, It’s Me You’re Looking For!
Of course you can go back later and change your profile, write a better description at a later date, but will it be any easier? How many people really know themselves and what they are looking for well enough to overcome this massive hurdle? Well, I guess it depends on what you are looking for.
Pull down your pants so I can see your flesh arrow!
Even with a short status update rather than a description, some can get their message across quite effectively! Whether that will bring happiness? Perhaps for a fleeting moment, but it’s hardly something for life.
Love & Kisses, Viki.