The Conundrum Of Intimacy

Posted by Viktoria Michaelis on June 11, 2014 in Q&A |

I haven’t been able to figure this one out yet, perhaps someone out there can give me a little insight. Why is it that older women are so comfortable around younger gay men? And I mean to the point of feeling free enough to wrap their arms around them, to almost treat them as lovers. Is there some special bond between women of a certain age and gay men? Do they feel secure or, perhaps, even gain more comfort from such a relationship?

Viktoria Michaelis: Cuddling Younger Gay Men

Photo Credit: Strangers of LondonCreative Commons

I find it interesting because I cannot imagine any younger lesbian who would be happy if an older man treated her in the same way. Come to that, I’m not sure whether I can imagine an older lesbian being so comfortable with a straight man that she would allow such intimacy.

So, what is it?

Love & Kisses, Viki

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  • Fran├žois Demers says:

    The conventional answer is “surrogate mother – son relationship”. It is based on the frail thesis stating that gay men suffer from arrested emotional development around the age of 8 and their women friends are would be castrating mothers. Despite the lack of any kind of evidence, this explanation is still common and you can probably get it verbatim from a psychologist picked at random.

    A better lead to an explanation might be: there is no risk of sex. These relationships allow friendships without threats. Women cannot rape men and the men are not physically attracted. The reverse, young lesbian / older man, would present very high risks of attempted coercion.

    Is it really intimacy? Or possibly more related to affinity?

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