Relationships are so complicated, sometimes it is difficult to know what to say, what to write, especially when you’re trying to preserve a small amount of privacy. So far I have been successful, keeping most if not all of my private life out of the ‘public eye’, as far as the Internet is concerned. No names, no real description, no hints which could compromise. Which brings a slight problem with it, one which hit me just the other day as I was writing something about my photographs. I had to think hard about what to call her, my lover, when commenting that she had already framed the photographs I took, which was why I hadn’t scanned them in.
Up until now it has not been much of a problem. Here I can call her whatever I wish – my love, my lover, whatever. On other social media platforms, where I am perhaps not quite so well-known as here, it is different. Can I still call her the love of my life, which she is, or my lover? Should I revert to something more clear, more obvious such as wifey, even though we’re not married and it is a term I do not like?
Photo Source: IsaacMao – Creative Commons
I have no desire to call her my Significant Other or Better Half or anything so trite, but My Lover seems to be a little off course, since many will automatically assume – as with SO and other terms – that a male is meant. This could cause one or two problems when someone suddenly realizes that she is indeed a she and not a he. I already know about these confusions, this moment of revelation, from real life. I don’t need the same on the Internet too.
The other alternative is to call her by her name – which she doesn’t want, not that her name is so unusual that someone could recognize her. And it’s not as if we are really hiding, we’re quite happy with people knowing that we are a pair and have no problems holding hands or even kissing in public. Plenty of other do it too, so why not us? Perhaps I could abbreviate her name to just the first initial, as I did with my last lover, but I’m not comfortable with that either.
So, what to call her on the rare occasions when her name comes up in a post?
Love & Kisses, Viki.