To a certain extent, I feel sorry for all those men who have been caught out by the Ashley Madison hacking affair. Sorry that their private lives have been revealed, that they now fear their secrets will come out into the open, that marriages or relationships have been destroyed. My feelings are tempered, as you can imagine, by the fact that anyone with half an ounce of commonsense should know, such a secret is never going to remain hidden for long. Eventually the sordid truth will come out, through an unfortunate word spoken at the wrong time, an appointment which cannot be explained, a comment from someone not in the know to the wrong person. That all the information has come out through a successful hacking attack is one of the hazards of the Internet everyone should be aware of: as soon as you send your information out, it can be found. If a credit card company or even the government of the United States can’t prevent unauthorized access to their databases, how can you expect anyone else to be capable of protecting your information?
To a certain extent I also feel sorry for those who honestly believe that any of these dating sites – no matter what they promise – are really above-board and clean in every single way.
Photo Source: Teakwood – Creative Commons
You pay your money and take your chances. Who, though, pays money to join a site where they are the first members, when it comes to matters of the heart? Why would anyone bother signing up for a dating or ‘bit-on-the-side’ site if it is clear, from the number of members, that they stand no chance of hooking up anyway?
I don’t want to accuse anyone of anything, but I suspect that the bulk of dating and relationship sites begin with fake profiles. How long they last on the system is another matter entirely, but a start has to be made. The people seeking are predominantly men, I would imagine, which is why so many sites allow women to sign up for free – like a popular club which allows women in for nothing, but the men have to pay – and they want to have a good selection of fodder right from the get go. When I look at the figures given out by one ‘friendship’ site I’ve written about recently, this is blatantly obvious. The site tells men that there are over three thousand women registered on the platform in this small town just waiting to meet them, in a town of just under five thousand inhabitants. People should do the Math before pulling out their credit cards.
Added to which, and this something that men shouldn’t forget, women receive so many offers, whether they want them or not, that there is really no need for them to sign up for such a service. Most of the offers can be put down as sexual harassment with no chance of success, but any man attracted to a certain women can, with the right approach, achieve something. You don’t need the Internet for that, and you certainly don’t need a dating site.
The only question which men really need to raise in their minds is: why? Why bother signing up for a site in the first place, when your chances of success are so much higher in the real world?
- Viktoria Michaelis.