I believe I have finally solved the problem of why so many people, especially when I go to buy breakfast rolls, do not know that things like ham and bacon are meat. You will undoubtedly recall my attempting to buy a cheese roll, or at least something vegetarian, and being offered ham at a certain gas station, and the many other times when people have tried to convince me with the salesman smiles that what they are offering is what I want.
You see, I was always under the impression that bacon was cut from dead pigs. I’m sorry to be so brutal about this – should I have put an age warning on here somewhere? – but that is what I honestly believed. It seems as if I am the only one – aside from a few crazies who adopt the missionary position when it comes to eating dead bodies, or wearing bits of carcasses – who doesn’t really like eating corpses because they are dead bodies. It also seems like I was the only one who believed that bacon came from pigs, dead or otherwise. And now I can understand why.
Image Source: Unknown
I must admit, I’ve never looked at it like that, never realized that the bacon source is far closer to hand than most are willing to admit. And now I understand why so many North Americans love their bit of bacon at all times of the day: it’s the only way to get around the bans in – is it still eighteen States? – so many areas of the USA.
No need to worry about someone going down on you, young man, there’s always bacon!
I wonder if the Christian Right knows about this, or do they believe that bacon comes from pigs too?
- Viktoria Michaelis.